Dramamine Queen

I spent the weekend in my home town visiting my best friend. Her son has sideburns now which made me giggle. I had these grand plans to tell her all about my new baby friend which involved finding a photo booth and telling her between photos. Except the mall we were at only had those awful digital ones that does all sorts of fancy things but doesn’t take a strip of photos. So instead I told her while we were walking through the food court so I could recycle. It worked out pretty well because we walked by this little baby who smiles at us and she said something she always says when we see a cute baby “Ohhhh can you have a baby please?” so I responded with “Sure! How about October?”  I guess it’s on par with her telling me on my front stoop all those years ago. We went and told my sister at her work. I asked if she could keep a secret from our parents and she said “ARE YOU FUCKING PREGNANT?!?!”  and then she burst into tears. So there we all are standing in the middle of the Canadian version of Hot Topic crying. Yeah, were hardcore. 

Some things I’ve noticed:

Boobs now rock hard. Like I’ve been given implants in my sleep. Which since I’m suddenly sleeping like a log(why do we say that? Logs don’t sleep!) is actually possibility.

CRAZY DREAMS.  Like one where I’m an awesome tap dancer and I’m tap dancing EVERYWHERE I go, in the mall, down the escalator and I’m so happy that I’m such an awesome tap dancer. Because, who knew? Or the weird sex ones. I’ll leave it at that.

If there’s one grain of salt in something I can taste it. Things that normally don’t taste salty now suddenly as of this past weekend taste like they are covered in it. Like cheese and bread. Oh and oil. I can taste the oil in things. I guess that’s sort of good because now I’m actually forced to eat the good things I want to eat. Because everything else is covered in salt.

The pain in my right shoulder, the one that usually feels like it’s on fire, is gone. POOF!  Just like that. That’s a pleasant surprise. 

(I promise I won’t spend the next 9 months going on and on. )